Final "Give That Photo a Name" Contest of 2006 - Next Wednesday. Junk Drawer Be DAMNED!

Time to amp things up around here, folks. Time to get serious. Time to get down to business. Time to swing from the chandeliers. Time to clean out all your toejam and spread it on your toast. Time to rep-re-sent.

Okay. You may have noticed the presence of ads on my site over the past few weeks? And my 2007 Calendars? Well, aside from providing me with an endless source of daily entertainment (ads), and giving me both a creative outlet and a no-brainer Christmas gift idea for about eleven of my family members (calendars), it's all been part of a sinister, diabolical plan. Don't worry, I haven't turned into a money-grubbing capitalist. Au contraire...

Since I don't like keeping anything monetarily valuable that belongs to me (junk drawer gift cards, for example) I vowed that whatever revenues I might receive from the ads on this site and/or the sale of my calendars, I'd turn around and sink into a nice, fat, juicy, delicious, bootylicious, fantabulous end-of-year photo contest prize. The kind of prize that would make people fight like hell to win the contest. The kind of prize that would make people pant and salivate and wake up screaming in the night at the thought of not winning. The kind of prize that...would make people gyrate.

That time is now. Though I haven't made a fortune by any stretch, I have collected just enough shekels in the past couple of months to justify pickin' up one of THESE...

Take a deep breath. Let it out. Now get a load of the specs on this beautiful Nikon creature:

- 7.1 Megapixels for stunning prints as large as 16 x 20 inches
- 3x Optical Zoom-Nikkor ED Glass Lens - pro-quality optics provide exceptional images
- Vibration Reduction minimizes the effect of camera shake
- Huge, Bright 3.0-inch LCD offers 170 degree wide angle viewing, making it easy to share your pictures with friends and family
-Slim, Stylish, All-Metal Design slips right into your shirt pocket or purse
-Auto adjusts up to ISO 1600 - keep shooting, even in low light
-Pictmotion(TM) creates in-camera slide shows with your music
- One-Touch Portrait Button automatically activates In-Camera Red-Eye Fix(TM) and Face Priority AF to create stunning portraits.
and...
and...
Get a load of this one:
- Wireless COOLPIX Connect - email pictures directly from the camera. Plus, One Year Free T-Mobile(R) HotSpot(R) Service for Digital Cameras makes it easy to send your pictures, even when you’re on the road!

Oh, how I love All Things Nikon. And as far as point-and-shoot digitals go, this is as good as it gets. Believe me, you want this camera. Believe me, I want this camera. I'm even thinking of entering the contest so...oh, never mind! That wouldn't be prudent.

Control your salivating and your gyrating and I'll see you next Wednesday!

(And as long as we brought it up, let's talk about 'dem Google ads. Lawsy mercy, do you guys ever read those suckers? Why, just yesterday I learned I can buy a "Woman Kicking Man on eBay", of all things. And I can buy velour calf nuts to hang on my rear view mirror. And, of course, I could always go back to eBay and browse their huge selection of "Fart". Not "Farts" or "Farting." Just "Fart.")

I have to go now.

Comments

[Spamboy]

Nice specs -- guess that's why its name includes the word "Cool".

[Robin]

I love you, Ree. No, I hate you. Wait, wait, it's love. No, it's.......

(please forgive me, Gee...please forgive me any of baby Punks who might read Mommy's blog, but...) Damn you woman! (you know I like to keep it G-rated in cyberspace 'cause my kids read)(durn, these days, THAT is about G-rated :/).

I like prizes. I like prizes more than presents. I like to win. It's rare that happens 'cept when I'm the only one playing.

With all this panting and salivating and gyrating, I might just have a heart attack before Wednesday.

Or............my husband might just benefit, just to calm me down.

I need a cigarette. No, wait, I don't smoke.

[omar]

Wow, Ree! This is hardcore. This IS bootylicious. Perhaps even TOO bootylicious. (Not in a bad way, I mean in a good way, like how Beyonce is TOO bootylicious.)

I can't wait to see the photo!

[Lisa]

I'll have to clear my calendar for next Wednesday so I can spend the day with nothing to do except channel the creative side of my brain. What would be REALLY nice is if I could channel the computer of a particular pioneer woman living in OK, just to take a peek at the possible photos she will pull out for her end of the year competition.
Ohhhmmmmmmmmmmmm...it's not working yet. Shoot.

[swamp drainer]

Swampwitch is busily decorating the scarecrow with garland, so I will tell her about the contest. When you were perusing the Google ads, did you notice if there were any all-weather (waterproof) calf nuts to hang from a trailer hitch? I don't think the velour ones would last too long.

[cecedon]

Oooooh that is a cool camera. It's going to be extra busy here on Wednesday I just know it! I can't wait to see the picture. I don't even care if I win I just want to play. And don't tell anyone but I've never noticed the adds before, they are kind of quiet.

[Brian]

Ree, You forgot to add the parts about accepting *donations* for a sneak preview of said photo before next Wednesday. :)

Btw, anybody else planning to go see "Charlotte's Web" this weekend???

Not that anybody asked, but it's foggy and damp here today.

Have a great weekend y'all.

[Teetotaled]

Oh man I am going to practice naming all sorts of random photos for the next few days just to get ready! Eck! Can't wait to see this picture!

[Pamela]

As I was reading the description I thought "Wow, that is almost better than sex."
... thats probably why Robin needed a cigarette.

[Stacie]

Well, I'll be here with bells on! I want to be a photographer when I grow up so that would be one cool camera to have!! I'll be out on the porch with Robin, having a cigarette....
Stacie

[Heidi]

You have to go fart?

[Angie]

Wow! I guess I am speechless (hope I am not on Wednesday though!).
Self-Proclaimed President of the Pioneer Woman Fan Club,
Angie (ILP-angigo)

[Darla]

How jolly! I knew there was a reason we hooked up online again for a couple of months. I just gave my 10dd back her 35mm camera the other day -- the one I hijacked shortly after my mom gave it to her for christms ... 3 years ago! I told her it's hers, I won't touch it anymore, that I'd get my own camera, i'mreallyreallysorryfortakingyoursi'maselfishmomi'msorry. Even if I don't win the contest, I trust your camera judgment and this will be the one I save up for. You're the bees knees, Ree.

[catalinakel]

I need to win because I suck so much that my first born turned 10 yesterday and our Canon powershot has been broken for several months now, so I got NO pictures of the grand event. So I need to win. BESIDES, I have been working the mall Santa gig for the last week way more hours than is advised so we can pay off our new fridge we needed to get because we moved to the desert two years ago and I killed our old fridge because I guess desert fridges are more sensitive, and my husband is a school teacher, so you know how paltry his salary is and I, well, me, I'm just a homeschool mom doing a two week santa gig to make some fast cash, so I need to win the camera. And I really want the camera. and you are just Miss generosity to offer us such gifties and I guess that's what happens when one grows up on a golf course, goes to UCLA and then marries a rancher.....breeds generosity. And the most handsome kids this side of the mississippi. I think we should just have a posting contest and choose the winner from there, because I would win because I need to win and I am the most convincing(so far), but, of course, there is some mighty stiff competition here.........I'll write, but I won't gyrate.

Did you say wednesday? I hope by then my brain still works after seeing so many babies terrorized on Santa's lap. Can't wait! I take back what I said yesterday. You don't suck. You rock!

For Gee: www.youcanmakebooks.com is where you will find me and I can help you learn more.

[Tiggerlane]

I LOVE the links! Though I wonder how they associate them with your site? Especially the one that referenced "Bush doctrine." Have you been doctoring your bush? B/c I rarely see you get too political.

My favorite is the "Free Baby Photo Contest" - which makes this Nikon seem a little lame as a prize. But personally, I'd rather have the camera!!

[Ree]

Robin, easy does it there, turbo!

Heidi, umm. NO!!! I don't do that. How dare you insinuate such a thing.

Darla and Cat...what are you guys tryin' to DO to me? Actually, I plan to choose the winner without knowing whose entry it is...just to make it a totally clean, unadulterated competition.

Tiggerlane, I try my best to block all political ads, but sometimes they squeak through. I don't want any part of anything remotely resembling anything having to do with anything political. (Huh?) :)

Go, guys, go!

[sasha]

So THAT'S why I haven't won yet! Glad you saved the best for last.

[Suzy]

WHOOOOOWEEEEEE! Bring on the pic! Wow, you really know how to hold a smokin' hot contest girl!

[J]

oohhh...it's purdy
It will be like all the other times, I'm sure, where I look and think and think, come up with a title only to read the other replies and see mine already there. That is all good though, your comment section is almost as good as your posts. Fun all around even if I don't win.

[Dinamyte]

Um. I think I'm going to have to make next Wednesday my official de-lurking day (not counting this, right now, of course). Does that make me a bad person?

[crunchy carpets]

I love my google ads...they are either about cat vomit or saving my marriage or my eating disorders....

[Sally]

Dang, you get a lot of comments, I had to scroll for half an hour to get to the place to enter my own comment.

Now I forgot what I was going to say.

Oh yeah, that camera looks like it'd be small and convenient enough for my husband's snowmobile trips, if it could handle extreme cold.

What in the world are "shekels" ?

[Ree]

Dadgummit, you all crack me up.

Dinamyte, bad person? I thinketh not! Come back Wed.

Crunchy, it's better than calf nuts. Or calf nut earrings.

Sally, you're funny. I think shekels are from the Bible, but really, I have no idea. I've just always said it. So basically, I have no idea what I'm saying most of the time. But you probably already knew that.

[Nan]

I'm am certainly salivating and gee willigers I'm gonna give it my best shot. (do I ever say "gee willigers" in real life? No. Never. Never have I ever said it. You are blessed indeed to have been in my presence when I first used the term "gee willigers.")
I have proven to be a lousy loser at the photo naming contest and last time the stakes weren't anywhere near as high and I took it way too seriously. I was shaking as I logged onto your site 27 times that day to see what the competition was doing.
Then when I found out "Who farted?" won I decided I might give up forever because dang, it's hard to read the mind of a mad pioneer woman!
:^D
I'll be there. I am never square.
Nan

[Willowtree]

Funny you should mention the whole ads thing, lately I've been coming here just to read the them, and the bonus is, if there's no women ready and waiting to satisfy me I can read the post while I wait.

You sure do have some strange readers, one seems to be getting off on the camera specs and another thinks that the camera is better than sex. Boy they're weird! As for me, I think it could be handy it during sex.