Cinnamon Rolls 101, or How To Elicit Primal Groans From All Your Friends

Welcome back, folks. Did you have a fabulous Christmas?

Hey! I have a great idea. Why not start a holiday tradition of delivering these delicious cinnamon rolls to your friends and cohorts?

Growing up, my mom always made them for her good friends at Christmastime, and you could literally hear the primal groans of pure joy rising from the rooftops of our town. I've carried on the tradition through the years and have won friends and influenced people just by delivering these rolls. They really are that good.

A warning. If you follow these instructions and wind up delivering these cinnamon rolls to your friends, be prepared for any of the following to occur:
1. They'll call you after they've taken the first bite and profess their eternal love for every ounce of your body, even your toe jam and love handles.
2. They'll pass out after the first bite, hit their head on the kitchen counter, sustain a concussion, and sue you for damages, despite the fact that the one bite they tasted of your cinnamon roll was the single most profound culinary experience in their miserable little life.
3. They'll call you and ask for the recipe, saying, "HOW did you make those?"
4. They'll call you and propose marriage.
5. They'll start humping the cinnamon roll pan, get maple frosting all over their pants, and send you the bill for the dry cleaning.
6. Did I just say that?

Let's start by making the dough.

Mix 1 quart of whole milk, 1 cup of vegetable oil, and 1 cup of sugar in a pan. "Scald" the mixture (heat until just before the boiling point.) Turn off heat and leave to cool 45 minutes to 1 hour. Go fold laundry or sculpt or play Twister with your mailman or something.



When the mixture is lukewarm to warm, but NOT hot, sprinkle in 2 packages Active Dry Yeast.



Let this sit for a minute so the yeast gets all warm and moist and happy.



Then add 8 cups of all-purpose flour.



Stir mixture together. Cover and let sit for at least an hour. Go throw away the rest of your wrapping paper or build a Lego Rottweiler or do Yoga or watch Home Shopping Network and order a frozen pizza oven for your countertop or some cellulite cream.



After an hour, the dough will look like this.



Now add 1 more cup of flour...



1 heaping teaspoon baking powder...



And 1 "scant" (less than a full) teaspoon baking soda and 1 heaping tablespoon of salt.

Stir mixture together. At this point, you could cover the dough and put it in the fridge until you need it---overnight or even a day or two, if necessary. Just keep your eye on it and if it starts to splurge out of the pan, just punch it down. Or, of course, you can just go ahead and make the rolls.

Let's do that, shall we?

Sprinkle surface generously with flour.



Take half the dough and form a rough rectangle.



Then roll the dough thin, maintaining a general rectangular shape. Rectangle should increase in both width and length as you roll it out.



Here's my beautiful, weird, lovely, delightful friend, Hyacinth. She came over to make cinnamon rolls with me. Ain't she purty?



Now drizzle 1 1/2 to 2 cups melted butter over the dough. Don't be shy; lay it on thick, baby. You know you want it.



Oh, by the way? This is not non-caloric. In case anyone asks.



Now sprinkle 1 cup of sugar over the butter...



...followed by a generous sprinkling of cinnamon.



Now, starting at the opposite end, begin rolling the dough in a neat line toward you. Keep the roll relatively tight as you go. Some of the butter/sugar/cinnamon mixture may ooze out toward the end, but that's no big deal.



Next, pinch the seam to the roll to seal it.Doesn't Hyacinth have lovely hands? I'd give anything to have her hands.



Spread 1 tablespoon of melted butter in seven round, foil cake or pie pans. Then begin cutting rolls approximately 3/4 to 1 inch thick and laying them in the buttered pans. Repeat this process with the other half of the dough. This recipe makes approximately seven pans of rolls.



Let the rolls sit for 20 to 30 minutes to rise, then bake at 400 degrees until light golden brown, about 15 to 18 minutes.

While the rolls are in the oven, make the deliciously sinful maple frosting.
To a mixing bowl, add 1 bag of powdered sugar.

To this, add about 2 teaspoons maple flavoring...



1/2 cup milk...



1/4 cup melted butter...



...and 1/4 cup of brewed coffee. Also add 1/8 teaspoon (a generous pinch) salt.



Then have a big, strong, virile man stir it up for you. I chose Marlboro Man.



The mixture should be thick but pourable. Taste and adjust as needed.



Generously drizzle frosting over warm rolls after you pull them out of the oven. And take a walk on the wild side. Don't be afraid to drown them puppies. Be sure to get frosting around the perimeter of the pan, too, so the icing will coat the outside of the rolls.

These are not non-caloric. Did I mention that?


The frosting will settle in and become one with the cinnamon rolls. And you'll be another step closer to being the most popular person in town...or the jiggliest, depending on whether you choose to deliver the rolls to friends or lock yourself in your pantry and eat them all by yourself.

Not that I've ever done that, mind you. I don't ever do things like that. I'm a model of self-discipline. And I don't have time to do such things---I'm too busy doing the Stairmaster. Yeah, that's me---Miss Will Power. I don't ever consume wasted calories. And if I do, I'm always vigilant about compensating with a higher activity level and weeks of fasting. And all.

Go forth and conquer! Yes you can. And report back to me.

Comments

[Pioneer Woman]

Ashley, I freeze them in their totally finished state all the time. Just wrap 'em nice and tight. Then you can put them in a 225-degree oven to warm them & they're just perfect.

Thanks for your feedback, everyone. Glad to hear from you!

[zmom]

I asked Wetsy to make these for me this year! She made them last year and oh. my. god.

So she makes them this year, but we're on our way out of town to the in-laws when I get them. We arrive at the in-laws and guess what happens. The cinammon rolls disappear! The in-laws INHALED them!! Bummer.

But NOW I can make my own!! Thanks Ree!!

[Katie]

Is your oven big enough for all 7 pans? If not, what do you do with the still-rising pans while the other ones are baking? Could you put them in the fridge to slow down the rising?

[Mary]

Awesome!!!! I cannot wait to try this out!!! (Yes, I like exclamation points!!!)

[Tiger Lamb Girl]

Hey Katie,
I just made them today - it was so easy - and they all turned out beautifully. Don't worry about the still-rising pans -- just choose the two that are most risen and put those in after the first two are done....and so on.

Incidentally, I don't have a large counter top area like Ree has - so instead of turning out 1/2 of the dough - I did it in 1/3's and it worked beautifully. This gave me plenty of time to let the first couple of pans rise - while rolling out and dressing the 2nd batch...and so on. As Ree said - it's so easy - you can't mess it up!

Ree, I've tried so many cinnamon roll recipes, that I gave up trying to make them years ago. None of them ever tasted anything like this one. It's only because of your post and photos that I felt moved to try again. And boy is everyone around me glad I did.

Thank you, thank you, thank you.

I had two teenagers in my kitchen watching me make them -- and both girls took photos. They've promised to email me the photos. So, I'll post some photos of my efforts (on my blog) soon - and everyone can see that even I, who couldn't seem to make cinnamon rolls to save my life, mastered this recipe.

[Grace]

ok, I made them and they are fantastic! One slight problem, apparently the state of Minnesota does not have maple flavoring. I improvised by purchasing 3 cans of betty crocker cream cheese frosting.... hey, at least made the damn buns! Thanks Ree!

[Michelle]

I have never baked bread-like goods requiring yeast on my own (made bread with Grandma when I was a kid, but that's about it) -- but now, with your careful tutelage and fabulous photos, I think I can do it! Thanks so much!!!

[Tiger Lamb Girl]

I couldn't locate any Maple Flavouring either - so I used Maple Syrup instead and the topping tasted great.

[Elizabeth Spehr]

I made these rolls yesterday and they were wonderful! The only difference was that I didn't make the maple flavored icing because I had no maple flavoring - or any coffee for that matter - so I made vanilla.... Thank you so much for this wonderful recipe!

[AzureHeather]

I made these rolls --
first off --
I halved the dough recipe.

Second I did a blend of spices using
cinnamon
allspice
nutmeg
and
cardamom

along with brown sugar and regular sugar (again halved to work with the halved amount of dough)

This resulted in some very delicious cinnamon rolls... very much a keeper recipe!

Thanks for sharing!

Heather

[Mary (mert)]

Let me just say this... I love you.

I mean that... Dearly not queerly.

I made these today, after having shown my hub the pictures in your post 2 weeks ago. He saw me putting the yeast in, and suddenly it was as if he was 12 again.

"Are you making those rolls?" His eyes sparkled. "Yup," I said. He then told me he had been talking about how good they looked at work, and was dying to have them.

They are just as amazing as you said they were, and we all moaned and groaned, just like you said we would. We all agreed that they are best we have ever had, and my daughter made it a point to say that "the ones that come in the can, with the dough guy don't ever taste this good". I'm thinking she might even refuse if I ever tried thoase canned ones again. :O)

[Pioneer Woman]

Just want to say how PPPPPROUD I am of those of you who've tried the recipe. Good job! And I like hearing about your variations, just in case I'm ever stuck without an ingredient.

[Miss Valerie Jean]

These rolls made my hiney cringe. In the rolls I also added brown sugar and nutmeg. SOOOOO yummy!!! I solemnly swear to make these rolls for the rest of my life.

Dear God,
Thank you for giving Ree the good sharing sense to tell us how to make the best ever rolls ever created. And Lord, forgive me for gluttony and selfishness. Amen

[kagyakusha]

Hi, I came through a link to this recipe, and I just wanted to say that it looks AMAZING and I can't wait to go try it. Thank you for posting such a detailed step by step recipe -- and the photos REALLY do help (for those of us who are kitchen-impaired)!

[kristan]

How do you eat them, lol, they look yummy but gooey!! Do you eat them with your hands or knife and fork lol!!

(Just call me a stooopid Aussie rofl).

[Concetta]

Oh sweet Jesus, another New Year's resolution down the toilet. I can't wait to make these.

Lovely to stumble into your blog. Can't wait to read more, but even as I sit here with good intentions to read and sip my coffee, my kitchen is calling me. "WooooHOOOOOO!!! Come make those cinnamon rolls! We've got all the ingredients! Just come...come...come. A jiggly butt is cute.......... !"

Ah well. I can read tomorrow.

Cheers!
- Concetta

[melissa]

Oh! this is an amazing step by step recipe, I just LOVED all the photos. Congratulations on your nomination for the 2007 Bloggies!!! A big hug from Panama!
Melissa

[Paula]

Oh my gawwwwwwd, these look just wonderful. Diet be damned, I'm making these this weekend. I just discovered you blog listed over at the blog awards site..........yippee! Hope you'll visit me sometime soon.

[MemphisRed]

Ree, I am so glad to have this roll recipe.

This reminds of grandmother's pocketbook yeast roll recipe. The dough was wet and sticky and the rolls so tender.

Ever just made rolls without the sweet ingredients?

The scalded milk mixture is cooling as I type! Thank you for these beautiful step by step instructions, Ree. I won't be able to eat one or two rolls bc I'm sensitive to dairy (and Lactaid doesn't help). Because I'll be taking the majority of the rolls to work, I'll freeze the rolls when they're done. When you write that they can be frozen in their completely finished state, does that mean with the maple topping on? Is "one bag" of confectioner's sugar the 2 pound bag? :) Thank you!!

[Pioneer Woman]

Yep, a 2-lb bag. Yes, you can either freeze them unbaked, then thaw and let rise...OR just freeze them totally completed. Either works great.

Good luck!

Memphis Red, I've used the dough to make cloverleaf rolls at Thanksgiving and it works very well. I usually add a little more salt to the dough when I do. Then roll three balls per muffin tin, let 'em rise for awhile, and bake. YUM!

[sun]

Ree, I was the one who wrote asking about the amt of confectioner's sugar. The rolls were so good that I ate a pan by myself. I was only going to eat one or two rolls, but they are so good!!

[char]

Just found your blog went to the store today to get the ingredients. Hopefully I won't mess this up wish me luck I AM NOT A BAKER. Love your kitchen and the yummy pictures made me feel like I might actually be able to do this.

[diana]

(from 2/27/07)
Me: So, I picked up powdered sugar and maple flavoring for those rolls, but I'm not sure I have the energy to make them.
New Guy: Hmm, I've got homework to do... are you gonna make those rolls?
Me: I dunno...
NG: Let me know when you make an executive decision.
Me: Why? Would it cause an executive decision on your end?
NG: Well yes, it would put into play a whole other universe of possibilities for my evening.
Me: I will keep you posted then!
~As soon as the milk was scalded I sent him text messages for each completed stage of the process. He was over before the first round was raised and ready to bake!!
I woulda gotten that marriage proposal, (which almost came after READING the recipe!) except he didn't stop moaning long enough to put any coherent thoughts in order!!! Wowee! Thank you Ree, you've done wonders for my love life :)

(from today)
Last night we covered the chocolate cake and lasagna (great blizzard food!)... I don't think new guy's going anywhere for a veeeeeery long time 'specially once I get that steak cookin' down!

[Susan]

Maaaan, I just got drool on my clean shirt.