Ethel Merman in the Closet

Usually I wait until my entire family leaves the house. Last night, though, I didn't have that luxury. I'd had a long day, beginning with working cattle at 6 a.m. and including a soccer game, seventy-four loads of laundry, and nine new baby colts to care for, as if I need any more sucklings in my life. By 9 p.m., I was a little, shall we say, on edge. A tad stressed. A bit frazzled. And I knew there was only one thing one earth that could remedy my state, aside from tequila and a pint of coffee Haagen Dazs and a foot massage: an Ethel Merman impersonation.

Unfortunately, my kids were in bed and my husband was awake...so the only privacy I could manage was traveling deep within my husband's closet for a secret recording session. This would ensure that my kids would remain asleep and my husband wouldn't hear me from the living room. I entered his walk-in closet, sat down amongst his shirts and boots, laid the laptop on the floor, and belted out this lovely number:

Click to Listen: Ethel in the Closet

Lovely is a relative term, isn't it? Immediately, though, I felt like a new woman. I felt purged, cleansed, renewed. Then I walked out into the living room as if nothing had happened and Marlboro Man said he heard the whole thing. I felt exposed, as if I'd been caught doing some dark, embarrassing deed. And in a way, I was.

But you know what? It was worth it.

Comments

[Pam]

Rock on sistah.
And as they used to say, back in the day...

"let it alll hang out"

♥Pam

[cecedon]

Dang woman, that was Good!

[Lynn]

Whatever it takes. At least you have identified what it takes and do it with humility, not wanting to offend others . And it helps. I think Ethel would be most proud.

[brooke]

Bravo Ree!!

[Swampwitch]

Dear Gee !
Did you ever in your wildest dreams, dream of this happening? I listened to the good-byes from your granddaughters through tears, then a smile, then an absolute 'jump-out-of-my skin' response with her B-U-R-P, as my dogs went howling to the outer reaches of our time zone. And now, "The dogs are barking, for me and my gal"...sounding more like Ethel than Ethel herself...as does Ree.
Dear MM ! Next time, lock the closet door. At least she'll have her computer so she can still post. Slip pancakes under the door.
Dear Westy, Mike, & D! Was she always like this?
Dear Precious Children: How lucky you are.
Dear Ree: You are the "wind" beneath my computer...Thanks for all your effort to keep us entertained.

[Heidi]

Y'know, for a laptop and using a closet as an iso-booth, pretty good!

Much better therapy than any other damaging/illegal habits. Sing it Ethel!!!

[Robin]

Ree......I don't know what to say. You have a "gift". You are "special". You may heart Ethel, but I heart you hearting Ethel...in a gifted, special way:). Glad I was (finally) able to hear ya again:).

Amazed that we did the same number of laundry loads, too :/.

[PAMELA]

I was singing right along with you.

I even pictured Bert Lahr gazing longinly into our eyes in "Dubarry was a Lady"

You looked better in the powdered wig - I'm growing my own

Dang it's like you embody her! I'm so glad it helped you feel better. We moms need that kind of release! Denise

[Pam]

Well, I couldn't listen to this on my computer at home....media player has a fatal error...long story.
Anyway, I had to go into the office and I must say..you are divine.... ;0]
Without trying to steal your thunder....really only trying to be more like you...I have always sang God Bless America like Ethel. I don't know why.

I also like to imitate the Wicked Witch of the West...
"I'll get you my pretty, and your little dog too.. cackle, cackle cackel....."

I like to sing like Patsy Cline but having heard my rendition of her songs...you far, far outshine me.
♥Pam

[momto3cubs]

I'll have to try that next time I feel stressed--sing instead of eat.

[willowtree]

Sometimes its a real pain not having broadband internet, then there's times like these when its a blessing.

Now you already know it's nothing against you, I've said it before, Ethel Merman makes my skin crawl.

[islaygirl]

i love you, ree.

[Snafu]

You are not normal.
This, however, is a good thing.

[dadia]

just curious....why were you so intrigued with Ethel Merman that you're learn to mimic her - and PERFECTLY, at that?!!

as always, thoroughly enjoyable & 100% entertaining!

p.s. to Snafu....imo, "normal" is really nothing more than a clothes dryer setting ;)

[Ree]

Awww, I can always count on you guys to make me feel better about my neuroses. :0) Thank you for being there for me. "Sing instead of eat." Ha, mom23! And Dadia, I love the clothes dryer remark. Good one.

See you all tomorrow...

[Jade]

That was great. You are usually my first stop in the morning after getting the little one his milk and changing his diaper. The last few days have been too busy to allow me to get here before the end of the day. Still my first stop though. That put a big smile on my face and a warm spot in my heart at the end of a very long few days.

I like the dryer reference too. May have to use that one.

[dodo]

Ha - fantastic! I do this with show tunes to give myself a big energy boost, but only when there's no one in the house. we live in a terrace, but it's usually safe because our neighbour one side is a medic who's never home, and the otherside has stood empty for ages. Except. Now there's a family just bought it, she's a SAHM with an 18month boy. THEY NEVER GO OUT!!!

can I borrow your closet?

[Kel]

well, I guess that's one way to come out of the closet so to speak

you made me laugh out loud, and that's something considering the dental dramas I've had today

[Marni]

The more I get to know you, the more I love you. I want to be a member of your family!

[Remuda Mom]

Shoot, couldn't hear it so I'll comment on your other remarks..........(equine obsessed as usual) Nine foals, I assume you are in the middle of weaning? Our weanies have ceased calling for their moms and are beginning kindergarten this fall. Have fun with yours.

[Vicki]

I've been waiting for 3 days to be able to play this. I had no idea who Ethel was. My first instinct was to google her. But no! I wanted to see if I could tell by your voice/her voice who she was! Yes!! You do a perfect Ethel. Somehow I feel more normal.

[crunchy carpets]

LMAO!!!
I think you have been in the country too long!

I don't get to sing in the shower anymore...it is usually filled with kids and dogs (don't ask) and they all yell at me to stop!