...if your spouse took all the children out of the house for two whole hours? Would you catch up on laundry? Refine your to-do list? Read a good book? Organize your bathroom drawers? Paint? Sculpt?
Myself, I like to practice my Ethel Merman impersonation. So yesterday morning when my husband took the kids working with him, I did just that. Only this time, rather than stand in front of the mirror and be my own audience like I usually do, I decided to click the "record" button on my computer so I could share the moment with all of you.
I allowed my love to listen to my recording session when he returned home. In addition to being somewhat puzzled at how I'd chosen to spend my kid-free time, he delicately suggested I might want to "re-think" posting the recording on my blog.
"Why?" I asked. "Does it embarrass you?"
"No," Marlboro Man replied. "Not at all. I'm just not sure how other people will take it."
Then it occurred to me. Our banker, Butch, reads my blog when he arrives at work every morning.
"Ah. I see...," I said. "You just don't want Butch to hear my Ethel impersonation...right?"
"Yeah," he replied. "I'm a little nervous he'll call our note." Other than that, he asked, "Aren't you afraid you might lose a few readers?"
I retorted, "You know what? Then why am I blogging? I can't conceal certain aspects of myself for fear people might think I'm strange. I can't just choose to show the fluffier, more charming side and omit the less glamorous things." (As if calf nuts are charming?) Then I said something that scared my husband more than the Ethel Merman recording ever could: "Honey, I'm just keepin' it real."
If you don't know who Ethel Merman is, please don't listen. You won't understand.
Click to Listen: I Love Ethel Merman